


Love Is Strength

by Briar_Rose7



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: But she's not very friendly, Emma makes an appearance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 15:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13216779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briar_Rose7/pseuds/Briar_Rose7
Summary: Rumplestiltskin is the Dark One again, but that doesn't bring him any joy. Belle's sudden arrival might change things, but will he be brave enough to tell her the truth?





	Love Is Strength

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this because I wanted to give Rumple and Belle a better written reunion. Then I got carried away and I found myself with a plot and a lot of feels. 
> 
> Infinite thanks to [still-searching47](http://still-searching47.tumblr.com), my amazing beta.

The bell above the door rings, and Rumplestiltskin inwardly curses the unwelcome visitor. Not even after being almost dragged to hell does he get a few moments of peace and quiet. 

“Get out, we’re closed,” he hollers from the back room, hoping that whomever decided to come bother him has enough common sense to leave him alone. There’s a sick irony to the fact that he can never be free of those he hates, while those he loves keep slipping through his fingers. 

“Rumple?” the voice calling for him makes his heart skip a beat. _It’s Belle. She’s here._

He turns around, disbelieving, and there she is, standing in front of him like an apparition. Is it possible that she became even more beautiful in the scant hours since he last saw her?

“What are you doing here?” he asks, eager to know the answer but at the same time afraid of hearing it. He can’t help but hope that she came back for him, that she can’t bear to be separated from him any more than he can bear being without her, but he knows that’s not true. She’s stronger than him, stronger then he’s ever been, and she knows how to live without him. Hell, she is _better off_ without him. Still, she’s here, and it’s enough for him. Even if she only came to ask for a favor, he is getting another chance to look at her, to hear her voice, and that’s a gift he didn’t expect and probably doesn’t deserve.

“Henry called, he told me everything: you lied to me. Again.”

Her voice is not harsh, but the tiny flare of hope in Rumplestiltskin’s chest shrivels and dies. Somehow, he has managed to do the wrong thing once more, to push her further away from him, even when he was truly trying his best. 

“Belle, I…” he starts off, desperate to make her see that he was only doing what he thought was necessary to protect her. He doesn’t think that she’ll believe him, he’s not sure she will even _listen_ to him, but he loves her too much not to try. His pathetic attempt at an explanation, however, is cut short when Belle all but throws herself at him and kisses him. 

All words slip from his mind as he tries to process the dream that seems to have come true in his life. It doesn’t make any sense: Belle should be mad at him, yet she’s kissing him like her life depends on it. After a moment of hesitation, Rumplestiltskin decides that explanations can wait. He doesn’t know what came over her, how this miracle could ever come to pass, but for once he wants to enjoy his happiness while it lasts, even if it’s only a matter of seconds. He kisses her back, and the rest of the world loses meaning and importance for him. Everything that’s not Belle, everything that’s not _them_ , well, it doesn’t matter anymore. He wraps his arms around her tentatively, and he could almost weep for the relief that is holding her again, feeling her soft body pressed against his.

All too soon Belle starts pulling back, but Rumplestiltskin is not ready to let go, not when he has no idea of what will be of them when the kiss ends. So he leans into her, prolonging the contact as much as possible, and when their lips eventually part it takes all of his willpower not to kiss her again. Her hands are still wrapped around his neck, playing with his hair, and that feeling alone is enough to drive him insane, making it hard for him to even think.

“How many times do I need to ask you to be honest with me? I know you wanted to protect me, but how do you think I would have felt if something had happened to you while I was away?” Belle asks him, her voice cracking on the last words. “I know what I said earlier, but the truth is that I don’t need to see the world to know what I want anymore. What I want is to be with you.”

Her words take a few moments to register in Rumplestiltskin’s brain. He’s not used to this, he’s not used to people coming back to him, but Belle, _his_ Belle, has always been different. She lunges forward once again, and this time he’s ready, and their lips meet with even more fervor than before. This time he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her, and their embrace is so passionate that they start swaying, Belle’s weight coming to rest almost completely on him as she loses her balance. He has missed this as well, being there to catch her every time she needs him to. It is by catching her when she fell from that ladder that he first built real trust amongst them. Even back then, when he was still nothing but a monster, Belle didn’t recoil from his touch, she didn’t fear for her safety as he held her close. It was on that day that Rumplestiltskin realized that his treacherous, blackened heart still retained the ability to love.

Throughout the course of their relationship, he has always tried to protect her, but he has also broken her trust so many times. He has been the one to catch her just as many times as he has been the one to make her fall, and even as he kisses her he knows he has failed her once again. Belle thinks him a hero, and she came back because of that, but if she knew that he is the Dark One once more she would never touch him again. Rumplestiltskin is tempted to keep it a secret; now that his wife is in his arms once again, watching her walk away would be pure torture. The alluring voice of the darkness in his head whispers at him to stay silent, to hide the truth from her for just one day, just one night, but he knows the voice is lying. Tomorrow it will convince him to lie for another day, and then another, until weeks and months will have passed, and one day Belle will find out the truth on her own, and he’ll lose her. He knows how this goes, he already went through it with the fake dagger and the sorcerer’s hat, and he can’t do it again. The thought of Belle walking out of his life is terrifying, but it’s still nothing compared to the pain of seeing the heartbreak in her eyes, of seeing their love turned to resentment because of him. That’s why he breaks the kiss, gently pushing Belle away from him so that he can look in her eyes.

“Rumple, what’s wrong?” Belle asks him, confused. 

He can already feel tears pricking his eyes, and every fiber of his being is screaming at him to lie, because he will lose her again if he doesn’t, but he knows he can’t. He can’t bear the pain that a life of lies brings. All he can do is hold tightly onto Belle’s arms, savoring their last moments together and hoping his love will give him strength. 

“Belle, I… there’s something you need to know. You know I’m not a brave man, but for you and Baelfire I always tried to be one. For a while, I almost thought I could manage it. Then I lost Bae, and today I thought I had lost you as well. I was alone, and I thought I was going to die; I just didn’t have the strength to fight anymore, so I reached for the only thing I had left: my power. I am the Dark One again.”

His voice gets more and more feeble as he sees Belle’s expression go from worry, to fear, to anger, and by the time his tale is over his hands are trembling, and tears are blurring his vision.

“You are _what_?” Belle asks, beside herself in shock. She abruptly takes one step back, and Rumplestiltskin visibly flinches when he loses his physical contact with her. 

“Belle, please, try to understand,” he pleads.

“What is there to understand? You were free from the darkness, from the thing that turned you into a monster and eventually almost killed you, and you willingly took it back!” she screams, taking another step back when he reaches for her hand. “You had another chance, and you wasted it!”

“Another chance at what?” he screams back, all of his despair, all of his desolation pouring into his words. “My son is gone. You were gone. Everyone else in this town only comes to me when they need help, then loathes me the rest of the time. My own grandson, Baelfire’s flesh and blood, only spent time with me because he was _spying_ on me. What exactly did I have a chance at? You once told me you tried to be everything for me, but you _are_. You’re all I have left. And if I long for power it’s not because I don’t love you or because you’re not enough, but because power is the only way I know to keep you safe, and because power is the only thing that I have left when I eventually push you away.”

There’s a beat of silence then, as the meaning of his words slowly seeps into Belle. She’s shocked, out of breath, and she doesn’t know what to make of all the emotions coursing through her because of Rumplestiltskin’s words. She’s mad at him for never telling her how he felt, but she’s even more mad at herself for never realizing it on her own. She’s also angry because, somehow, he’s making her go from rage to guilt, and she knows how this always ends: with her giving in to her love for him, and forgiving him. Because no matter how many times she tries to move past him, she just can’t be happy when he’s not. They’re a team, two outcasts who found home in each other, and even though they have so much trouble understanding each other’s struggles, they’re always stronger and happier when they’re together. 

“I was wrong,” she says eventually. “Only now do I realize how stupid it was of me to want to be your everything. I was so desperate to help you through your grief, that I fooled myself into thinking I could fix everything by myself. We should have gotten help, maybe from Archie.”

It has always been her biggest flaw, hasn’t it? Her hero complex, her desperate need to help everyone, to fix everything, all by herself. She should have learned her lesson after all the times her attempts backfired, instead she has persisted in her mistakes and hurt the person she loves the most. 

“Do you really think it would have made a difference?” Rumplestiltskin asks. He feels emptied, exhausted, and he moves to sit on the cot. 

“Maybe. At least we would have known that we had tried all we could,” Belle says, coming to sit next to him, her shoulder just barely touching his. Slowly, she takes one of Rumplestiltskin’s hands in her own. “I love you, Rumple. I would have done anything to help you. I _will_ do anything to help you,” she whispers. 

The intensity of Belle’s gaze makes Rumplestiltskin’s breath catch in his throat, his heart beating faster because of the implication behind her words. There’s only one thing he wants from her, but it is something he has no right to ask for. He is broken beyond repair, and he should let her go for her sake, but he’s just not strong enough. 

“Stay.”

It’s only a word, barely more than a whisper, but it’s all he wants. She has said that she can’t be his everything, but he’ll never be able to build a new life without her by his side. She’s his strength and his cornerstone.

Belle smiles at him, nervous but hopeful, and the trepidation in her eyes reminds him of that distant day when they first kissed. Just like all those years ago, Belle slowly leans forward, closing the distance between them to press a soft kiss against his lips. Rumplestiltskin knows better than to push her away now; he kisses her back, hardly believing that this is real, as fresh tears of happiness start running down his cheeks.

“I wasn’t wrong about you,” Belle says when she eventually pulls back. “You are much braver than you think. You were honest with me even when you thought I was going to leave you for it, and that is all I asked for. I don’t want you to be perfect, I never did, but I needed to know that you’re on my side, that when the next crisis comes up you won’t be doing things behind my back.”

Ever since she has used that damned gantlet, she has been worrying that he never truly tried to make their relationship work, that he never loved her enough to stop treating her as a pawn and start considering her his equal. His effort to be honest today proves that her fears are unfounded, and she has never been happier to be wrong. She kisses him again, this time with more urgency, desperate to make up for all the time they’ve lost. All of their separations, both physical and emotional, have exhausted her; all she wants now is to lose herself in him, to let their love course through her without fear of being burned again.

Rumplestiltskin is all to eager to indulge her, returning her kisses and touches with just as much fervor, but letting her set the pace. He can’t suppress a whimper when she frees him of his tie and pushes him to lay down on the cot, her hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. It’s been so long, and he has missed her like air. He has dreamed of this reunion too many times to let it happen here, on the dirty cot where he has almost died twice. That’s why he wraps his arms around his wife and teleports them both to their bedroom, and everything just feels so right, like the world is finally making sense again: the two of them, in their house, making love. He can’t think of anything more perfect.

Belle only realizes where they are when Rumplestiltskin rolls them over, something that would have been impossible on the narrow bunk bed; her smile only grows wider when she takes in her surroundings, and Rumplestiltskin feels like he could burst with joy. She’s not upset by the fact that he can use magic again, even if it’s the Dark One’s, and it’s such a relief to look in her eyes and know that he’s not hiding anything. The time of secrets is gone, and now he finally doesn’t feel torn between darkness and light anymore: he has shown her everything he is, with all his flaws and fears, and she has accepted all of him.

He has no words to express his gratitude, so he pours it into his gestures. He takes his time relearning the soft curves of her body, kissing every inch of her skin as he slowly undresses her. Soon enough her soft cries of pleasure start filling the air, and they are far more intoxicating than power has ever been. Rumplestiltskin coaxes those sounds from her again and again, determined to make her feel even a fraction of the joy that she brings him by just being _here._

He loses track of time, his magic giving him stamina, and he only stops when Belle is eventually too exhausted to go on. She snuggles into his arms, pressing one last kiss to his chest as her eyelids flutter close. Rumplestiltskin gently puts an arm over her waist, and even when labored breathing becomes even and deep, he realizes that he can’t take his eyes off of her. She’s smiling contentedly in her sleep, and he itches to kiss her again, to feel that smile against his own lips. Everything about her, from her disheveled hair to the love bite on her shoulder, reminds him of what has just happened, of the chance he’s been given, and of how much he loves her. Right now he can hardly believe that so many nights, in the past, he has left this celestial vision to take care of some shady business, leaving her to wake up in an empty bed while he went behind her back. _Never again_ , he vows silently; come hell or high water, this time she’ll wake up in his arms. 

Sleep doesn’t come easily to the Dark One, but when the sharp trill of his phone wakes him up, Rumplestiltskin realizes that he must have dozed off at some point. Belle stirs in his arms, but she keeps sleeping, and this makes Rumplestiltskin feel slightly less angry at whomever decided to disturb their quiet. He doesn’t read the message anyway; he doesn’t want to wake Belle up by moving, and he honestly doesn’t care about what could be happening to everyone else. Besides, it’s highly unlikely, even by Storybrooke’s standards, that another deathly threat has risen just scant hours after they stopped literal hell from breaking loose in town. Whatever they’re texting him for, it can wait until later. 

Except that whomever is trying to contact him doesn’t seem to agree. Hardly half an hour passes before his phone is ringing again, this time with a call, and Rumplestiltskin uses his magic to swiftly silence it, feeling his irritation grow. He makes the device float into his hands, and finds out that the nuisance is Emma, who wants to meet him at his shop. He replies to her text with a simple ‘ _No_ ’ and turns off the phone. He knows she’s hurting, but she has already caused him, and Belle, too much pain in recent weeks; if she truly wants to talk to him, it better be because she wants to apologize. 

He once again focuses his attention on his wife, who still hasn’t woken up. He must have truly worn her out, and he starts thinking about what he can cook to make her a hearty breakfast. They could also go grab something from Granny’s, but the truth is that he really doesn’t want to leave the house - and more specifically their bedroom - for the entire day. 

Belle’s restful sleep is interrupted a few minutes later by a heavy pounding on the front door. She startles, sitting up in bed, and frowns in confusion as she hears Emma Swan scream outside their house, and the way Rumplestiltskin tenses besides her only confirms that there’s something strange going on. 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ve got this,” he says, getting up from the bed and magicking his clothes back on. 

“I know, but I’m coming with you anyway,” she replies immediately. “Could you help me get ready with magic? I’m afraid Emma might break down the door while I try to make myself presentable.”

Belle knows that Rumplestiltskin always tries to keep her out of the action because he’s too protective of her, and that’s why she’s not upset by the fact that his first instinct was to deal with this alone. She does appreciate that, instead of wasting more time trying to convince her to stay upstairs, he waves his hand as soon as she’s done talking. She’s magically dressed once again, her hair no longer a tangled mess and her make-up spotless. She kisses him thank you, and takes his hand in hers as they head downstairs. 

“It’s not like Emma to behave like this; something big must have come up,” Belle says, worry overcoming her selfish desire to go back to bed. 

“Whatever it is, I do hope it can be dealt with quickly. Having this many clothes back on really wasn’t in my plan for the day,” Rumplestiltskin whispers in her ear, making a shiver of anticipation run down her spine. They smile wickedly at one another, then Rumplestiltskin finally opens the door.

“Where the _hell_ have you been?” Emma all but shouts at him. She looks completely deranged, with a haunted look in her red, puffy eyes. 

“In my house, with my wife, celebrating the fact that you didn’t get us all killed,” Rumplestiltskin replies drily.

Belle is once again amazed by his ability to go from being a loving husband to a harsh dealmaker in a matter of seconds. Truth be told, she finds it rather enticing, and she makes a mental note to tell him that later. 

“I need to talk to you. _Alone,_ ” Emma insists, casting Belle a poignant glance. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m done with secrets. Anything you have to tell me, you can tell Belle,” Rumplestiltskin states coolly, still standing firmly in the doorway, keeping Emma from stepping inside their house. 

“Are you now? Then you’ll have no problems telling her everything afterwards,” Emma retorts, looking at him defiantly. 

Belle is tempted to act out of spite and tell Emma that no, she will stay and hear everything, but she doesn’t want this to drag on any longer than necessary, nor does she want to make Rumple think that she’s doubting his sincerity.

“It’s okay, Rumple, do as she says. I trust you,” she says, squeezing his hand in support. 

“Fine,” he blurts out, stepping aside to let Emma in. “I’ll give you five minutes of my time, Miss Swan, not one second more. We can talk in my study, and pray that this is as important as you make it sound. I don’t usually like guests to show up uninvited to my house.”

Emma follows him, and once the study door closes behind them her gaze fills with pure rage. 

“Uninvited, you say? But I _was_ invited: I can hear the whispers, the ones I only heard coming from the dagger. You have it, don’t you?” she asks, but deep down she already knows the answer. That’s why Rumplestiltskin wastes no time lying. 

“Yes, I do. I was hoping to keep it secret for a while, but I didn’t consider the possibility that you might hear it. After all, no former Dark One has ever survived after being stripped of their power. I guess we’re the only two of our kind,” he explains calmly, holding Emma’s accusing gaze without problem. That only seems to anger her more. 

“You bastard! I don’t know how you did it, but you betrayed us all. You made Killian’s sacrifice be in vain!” she screams, lunging forward to punch him. Rumplestiltskin doesn’t even flinch before freezing her mid-motion with his magic.

“Do you honestly think that you can hurt me? As you’ve pointed out, I’m the Dark One again. You’re incredibly powerful, Miss Swan, but not nearly as powerful as me,” he hisses menacingly, releasing her from the hold of his spell.

“Well then, Dark One,” she says, her voice growing even colder. “Now that you have your power back you’re going to do something for me.”

Rumplestiltskin scoffs at her demanding tone. “And why would I do anything for you?”

“Because I still have magic, and I’m willing to bet I can get to Belle and tell her everything before you can kill me,” she says defiantly.

Rumplestiltskin is used to hiding his emotions, but even he can’t fully conceal his surprise at her words. That Emma Swan thinks him capable of killing her is a bit unflattering, but not entirely unjustified. That she might be willing to blackmail him is unexpected, but that she’s willing to do so at Belle’s expense is downright appalling. 

“You’re not serious,” he says, the mask of the dealmaker slipping for a moment as he tries to get ahold of his shock and anger. 

“Don’t test me,” she bites back. “Do you really want to take that chance? That she will once again know the kind of man you really are?”

Her words are dripping with contempt, and Rumplestiltskin can’t help but notice the irony in the fact that the woman trying to blackmail him also thinks she has the higher moral ground. He stays silent for a moment, letting her savor the taste of victory before crushing her ridiculous plan.

“I really didn’t think we would have come to this. However, Miss Swan, I’m afraid there’s one massive flaw in your scheme,” he says calmly, his smirk only growing larger as Emma frowns in confusion. “Belle already knows.”

“You’re lying,” she retorts immediately, her fists clenching in anger. His wife might be gullible enough to believe everything he says, but she knows better.

“No, he’s not,” comes Belle’s voice from behind Emma’s back.

“I thought you had agreed to let us speak _alone_ ,” Emma protests angrily, dread overcoming her as she realizes that her plan has backfired spectacularly. 

“And I thought I had told you I have no secrets for my wife,” Rumplestiltskin replies coldly. “I used magic to let her hear _everything_ we were saying, and you wasted no time in proving that I was right to be cautious.”

“How could you?” Belle hisses, and Rumplestiltskin almost shudders at the anger in her voice. He has only seen Belle this upset a few times, and her rage was generally directed at him. It’s such a relief to finally be on the same side as her. 

“How could _I_? He took the darkness back, I’m not the one to blame here!” Emma screams. 

“I’m not saying that what he did was right, but the fact that he’s the Dark One again hasn’t harmed anyone yet. If anything, your recent experiences should have made you realize that he’s better than most at controlling the darkness,” Belle explains, coming to stand beside her husband. “You, on the other side, basically forced your way into our house so that you could blackmail _him_ , going behind my back. You knew how heartbroken I was when I discovered Rumple was lying to me, you knew how important it would be for me to know that he was the Dark One again, and instead of telling me, or telling him to be honest and tell me, you were prepared to keep me in the dark so that you could use that knowledge to your advantage. So I’m asking you again: _how could you_?”

“Belle… you have to understand, I was desperate. I _am_ desperate…”

Emma’s pathetic attempt at an explanation is cut short when Belle starts shouting at her.

“Don’t you _dare_ , play the ‘I am desperate’ card. I was desperate when I thought Rumple was dead, but I didn’t start blackmailing people because of that. I was desperate when I banished him from town, but I still spent many sleepless nights looking for a way to free the fairies. I was desperate when Rumple was on the verge of death after having the darkness removed from his heart, but I left him so that I could help you, and believe me when I say that I truly regret it. All along, I’ve done nothing but help you and your family in every way I could, and what have I gotten in return? You’ve ignored my pain, exploited me in every way you could, threatened to kill me, kidnapped my husband and put his life on the line. This blackmail is the last straw!”

Belle is panting by the time her outburst is over, and only now that she has let it all out does she realize for how long she has been putting up with all of this, how many offenses she has overlooked. Well, not anymore. 

“Look, I’m sorry for what I did in the past few weeks, but I was the Dark One, and…”

“Well, I’m the Dark One right now, and I’m being way more civil than you are, even without the darkness. Maybe you should stop putting the blame elsewhere, and own up to your mistakes,” Rumplestiltskin says, his words dripping with rage. He wishes he had his cane with him right now; clenching it in his hands always grounded him, helping him control his nerves, but right now his hands are empty and tingling with magic, ready to turn Emma Swan into a small pile of ashes. He doesn’t care what she thinks of him, or if she’s willing to blackmail him, but her treatment of Belle is absolutely unforgivable. 

“You’re not being civil! Hook sacrificed himself, and you took that away from him!” Emma rebuts, and even mentioning what happened to Killian brings fresh tears to her eyes. 

“Emma, I know you’re hurting,” Belle says, her tone turning softer. “But Killian was doomed the moment he was wounded by Excalibur. Nothing of what Rumple did or didn’t do has anything to do with his death. I know how you feel, I really do, but there’s nothing you can do now, except learn how to move on.”

“But I _can_ do something, and that’s why I came here. Rumplestiltskin’s blood is what opened the portal through which all the previous Dark Ones came to Storybrooke. So I thought that if his blood can open a portal to the Underworld, maybe we could use it to go save Hook,” Emma explains feverishly. 

“No,” Rumplestiltskin states firmly, and from his tone it’s clear that he doesn’t want to discuss the matter any further. Emma either doesn’t get the hint or doesn’t care. 

“You can’t deny me the right to at least try!” Emma shouts. “You don’t have that right. You don’t know how it felt to watch Killian die in my arms…”

“ _Enough_ ,” Rumplestiltskin cuts her off, his voice trembling with barely contained fury. “I’ve tried to be patient with you, Miss Swan, but you just crossed a line you really shouldn’t have. Don’t you ever _dare_ suggest that I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t care how much you’re hurting, it doesn’t justify the fact that you’re forgetting that I had to watch _my own son_ die in my arms, without being able to save him. I know your plan won’t work because the very first thing I did after your beloved pirate died was to try and see if there was a way to bring Baelfire back. I dropped so much of my blood in that lake that I almost passed out, but the portal never opened. Mortals can’t come back from the dead, and no matter how much it hurts, I’ve accepted that I must learn how to live with that. I suggest you do the same.”

Emma stares at him, speechless and dumbfounded, and Rumplestiltskin is glad that the rage coursing through his veins is helping him hide the pain that inevitably comes with the memory of Baelfire. Belle’s comforting touch on his shoulder also helps, and it grounds him in the moment, keeping him from losing himself in dangerous memories. 

“Leave my house. Now!” he hisses at Emma, and finally she listens to him. She walks out without another word, and Rumplestiltskin sags down onto the nearest chair, gently pulling Belle to sit across his lap. 

“How are you feeling?” she asks him, wrapping her arms around his neck. It takes him a while to find an answer that feels right. 

“Tired,” he admits. “I’m also sorry for you. We both know you would have never been put through all this if it weren’t for me. The others shut you out because of your association with me.”

“Well, then it’s their loss,” she replies sternly, and Rumplestiltskin loves the determined look on her face. Not just because she’s defending him, but because that stubbornness is so much… _Belle_. Despite all that has happened to them, she’s still the brave, idealistic maid who wasn’t afraid to tell the Dark One that he was rude. 

“If they are not willing to treat us fairly because of the things you might have done in the past, then their opinion doesn’t matter to me. _We_ matter. And we don’t need them in our life,” she decides.

Her words stir something in Rumplestiltskin’s mind, an idea that has been thwarted so many times that he’s almost afraid to bring it up again. Yet today he’s feeling braver than he’s ever been.

“Then let’s leave them all behind,” he suggests, taking Belle’s hands in his.

“What are you saying?” she asks, even though she already has an idea. She just can’t believe that he’s really suggesting it, and she wants to hear it from him. 

“We can leave Storybrooke. People will never accept us here, and there’s nothing worth staying for, not anymore,” he says, and even though there’s an endless sadness in his eyes, there’s hope in them as well. “We can go see the world like you’ve always wanted, and once we’ve seen all of it, we can pick our favorite corner to settle in. Let’s build our life someplace where my past won’t be a burden for us.”

“Would you be happy with that? Or are you only saying it for me?” Belle checks, fighting to contain her enthusiasm. Rumplestiltskin is offering her the chance to finally live out her dream, but she won’t do so at his expense. 

“I will always be happy as long as we’re together, and I also think that a change of scenery will probably do me good,” he admits, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “So, Mrs Gold, what do you say?” 

Her smile, brighter than the sun and a thousand times more beautiful, is the only answer he needs. 

It doesn’t take them long to prepare for their departure, and three days later they’re driving the Cadillac over the town line, heading towards Boston. They have booked an hotel there, but they don’t have any plan whatsoever. They’ll go wherever they want, and stay as long as they like. The entire world is at their disposal, and Belle’s excitement is a wonder to witness. As the days go by, Belle starts hoarding tourist guides, and Rumplestiltskin really wishes he could remember all the interesting details and trivia she shares with him, but every time he gets too distracted by how her eyes light up when she’s thrilled, and how her entire body seems to vibrate with her happiness. She giggles every time she realizes he’s not following her train of thought anymore, and kisses him to bring him back to the present. She is over the moon with happiness, and that’s why it takes her longer than necessary to notice that something is wrong. Actually, something is _missing_. They’re in Toronto, almost two months after that fateful night when she came back to Rumplestiltskin, when Belle notices that she hasn’t had her period since then.

She stares at the calendar on her phone, dumbfounded, as if the past fifty days will just disappear if she glares at them long enough. The world around her seems to have gone suddenly quiet, and she nervously casts a glance at the bathroom door, beyond which Rumple is waiting for her for a game of chess. She has to tell him. She can’t hide such a thing from him after all the times she’s stressed the importance of honesty in their relationship. Besides, if her suspicions are founded he’ll find out sooner rather than later anyway. Yet she doesn’t feel ready for this conversation at all. Not because of how Rumple might react to the news, but because she isn’t even sure of how _she_ feels about it. They love each other, she knows they do, but they’ve only been together again for a couple of months, and she’s not sure that the new balance that the’ve found is solid enough yet for a child. She loves the idea of building a family with Rumplestiltskin, but she doesn’t want their child to grow up with two parents who are still tip-toeing around each other. She’s scared, and telling him about it will only make the whole thing more real.

 _Do the brave thing, and bravery will follow_ , she tells herself once again. It’s a motto that has helped her so much throughout the years, especially in regards to Rumplestiltskin. Nothing has ever put her bravery to the test as much as their relationship, and she can only hope that her courage will pay off this time as well. She walks out of the bathroom, and Rumplestiltskin’s eyes light up as soon as he takes her in. Even after all these weeks spent together, he still looks at her like he can’t believe that she’s really here. The love in his gaze never fails to make her heart flutter, but today she’s already too emotional, and she finds herself tearing up.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asks, immediately wrapping his arms around her. 

“Nothing’s wrong,” she replies hastily. “It’s just that I love you so much. No one has ever made me as happy as you do.”

It’s the truth, and she just wants him to hear it once more before they face this new challenge. 

“It’s the same for me, but please just tell me what’s troubling you. I can help,” he insists.

The worry in his voice breaks her heart. She wanted to break the news to him as calmly as possible, not to alarm him before she even started talking. She takes his hand, pulling him to sit on the bed with her. There really isn’t any way to soften the shock for him, so she simply blurts out the truth. 

“I think I might be pregnant.”

She bites her lip as she waits for the surprise on Rumple’s face to turn into something else, something that might give her a hint on how he feels about this. After what feels like an eternity, Rumplestiltskin smiles tremulously, his hands wrapping around hers. 

“Really?” he asks, and Belle is so relieved to hear the happiness in his voice. 

“Really. But, as I said, I’m not sure. I should probably take a test,” she says, feeling just a bit more sure of herself now that she has an idea of how he feels. 

“Right. I’ll go buy one. It’s late, but there should be a pharmacy open not far from here. I’ll be back soon,” Rumplestiltskin says, getting up and reaching for his coat. 

“Wait, no, I’m coming with you,” Belle objects immediately. 

“There’s no need for the both of us to catch a cold out there. You stay here and rest,” Rumplestiltskin insists.

Belle is on the verge of telling him that she might be two months pregnant, but she’s certainly not sick, when the look in his eyes makes her stop. This isn’t just about buying the test; Rumplestiltskin needs a moment alone to come to terms with what she has just told him. Not because he’s not happy, but because all the fears that assaulted her a few minutes ago are now tormenting him as well, and a moment of calm will help him clear his mind. He knows she is always ready to support him when his insecurities threaten to overcome him, but sometimes being alone is the only thing that works. So she agrees, kisses him goodbye, and waits. She sits back on the bed, her hands coming to rest on her still flat belly. It’s so crazy to think that there could be a child growing inside of her right now, without her even knowing. It’s even crazier that she might have gotten pregnant right now, when they’re being more careful than ever before. They were so careless during the early stages of their relationship, too eager and too emotional to care about anything else. It was hard to think about protection when they had just found each other again after thirty years, or when they were celebrating the fact that none of them had been horribly killed by the latest menace in town. They made the same mistake on that fateful night when she came back to him for the last time, and now here they are. 

Belle startles when the room’s door clicks open; Rumplestiltskin is back already, with a plastic bag full of pregnancy tests. 

“I thought it might be better to let you choose the one you preferred,” he explains sheepishly.

Belle smiles gratefully at him, part of her tension dissipating in front of her husband’s overprotectiveness. She rummages through the various boxes, trying to decide which test looks more reliable. Rumplestiltskin’s shoulders tense when she eventually picks one and heads to the bathroom, and he doesn’t seem to have moved at all when she comes out.

“We just need to wait a few minutes for the result,” she explains, her voice sounding too shrill even to her own ears. 

He nods in acknowledgement, but aside from that he still doesn’t move an inch. A heavy silence falls between them, and after a few moments Belle just can’t bear it. 

“Would you sit down with me?” She asks, biting her lower lip. Her voice comes out small and pleading, but she doesn’t mind, because that’s exactly how she feels. She is scared and she needs his presence and his support. She needs _him_. 

“Of course,” he agrees immediately, sitting on the edge of the bed. He gently pulls her to sit in between his legs, his front plastered against her back, his arms wrapped tightly around her. 

“What are you hoping for?” Belle asks him feebly. 

“I don’t know,” he admits, resting his head against her shoulder. “Nothing would make me happier than having a child with you Belle, you know that.”

He presses a kiss against the side of her neck, and Belle feels his tears against her skin as his body shakes with a sob. 

“At the same time, I’m terrified. All that happened with Bae, all the mistakes I made… Being a father again would bring all those memories back, keep them always fresh in my mind, and I don’t know if I have the strength to bear it,” he says, trying and failing to keep his voice from breaking. He doesn’t want to make this all about himself, on the contrary, he wants to support Belle through this, but Bae’s death is a wound he’ll never truly recover from. It might hurt less in time, but it will always be there, like the twisted, ugly scar on his ankle, a reminder of all his failings. 

“What about you?” he asks, trying to compose himself. 

“I don’t know either. I know you’d be an excellent father, and I’ve always dreamt of having a family with you one day, but… what if it is too soon? What if we’re not ready? What if _I’m_ not ready? It took us so long to learn how to be together without hurting each other, how can I be sure it won’t be the same for our child?” she asks, knowing full well that she’s probably feeding Rumple’s own insecurities, but at this point she’s too worried to keep her fears from him. 

Rumplestiltskin gently caresses her arms, sighing against her hair. 

“You’re right, we can’t be sure that we won’t make the same mistakes with our child, nor can we know if we’re ready, which we probably aren’t. However, I think that the moment we’ll know we’re going to be parents, be it today or in ten years time, none of that will matter anymore. The love you feel for a child is something far stronger than you could possibly imagine; it’s all-consuming, it’s infinite, it’s simply _more_. It makes you forget about your fears while also making you scared of everything that might hurt your child. It makes you do things you never thought possible. So, maybe, it will give us the strength that we feel is so out of reach right now,” Rumplestiltskin explains, his voice trembling with emotion. “As for me, I can’t promise you that I will succeed, that I will always be stronger than my own fears, but I swear that I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be. I love you, Belle, and my darkened heart will forever belong to you and to any children we might have.”

They are both crying by the time he finishes talking, their hands intertwined over her belly. 

“I think our wait is over,” Belle says, her voice cracking a bit. 

She wipes her tears away with her hand, then pulls Rumplestiltskin along with her as she heads for the bathroom. She purposefully avoids looking at the test as she enters the room, taking a few more seconds to gather her courage. It’s only after taking a few deep breaths, and exchanging one last encouraging look with Rumple, that she finally picks the test up, and looks.

“I’m pregnant.”

The words leave her mouth almost automatically, devoid of any emotions. She’s pregnant, it’s a simple matter of fact. As her brain still tries to process that information, another certainty hits her with the force of a truck: she wants this child. She loves him, or her, already and even though she’s still scared out of her wits, she knows that for her child she’s ready to do anything. She looks up at Rumplestiltskin, and she’s happy to see that he’s smiling at her. He cradles her face in his hands, as his eyes fill with fresh tears. 

“We’re going to have a baby,” he murmurs, as if he still can’t believe it. 

Belle nods happily, unable to find the right words to express her feelings. She puts the test on the sink, then wraps her arms around Rumplestiltskin and kisses him fiercely. They cling onto each other, but no longer out of despair or fear. They’re reveling in the beauty of what they’ve created together, and while the adventure ahead of them might be the most dangerous they’ve ever faced, it will also be the most beautiful one. Just like the love that created him or her, this child came to Belle and Rumplestiltskin as a surprise. They didn’t expect it, they didn’t see it coming, but it was here and it was already making their lives better. This time, however, they’re ready to embrace the change; both a little scared, neither one prepared, the Beauty and her Beast. 


End file.
